"In May 2004, 7-year-old Walker LeVan's father died at age 44. The following January, a cousin was killed in Afghanistan. Finally, in May 2008, his maternal grandmother and paternal grandfather — "Pop-Pop," who had replaced his son in Walker's life — both died.
"It was very difficult," Walker's mother, Barbara LeVan, recalls. "But he got up and spoke at his grandfather's funeral. There aren't a lot of kids who can do that."
Walker had gained strength from Ryan's Tree Grieving Program.
A project of the Visiting Nurses Association of St. Luke's Home Health/Hospice, Ryan's Tree serves children ages 5–18. Founded nine years ago to provide bereavement support to children, Ryan's Tree serves about 100 kids annually. The program is supported through funding by Highmark Healthy High 5 to expand the reach of family grief services.
When a friend told Mrs. LeVan about Ryan's Tree in 2004, she thought it would help. "Walker didn't say a lot," she says, "but he really wanted to go. Kids like being around other kids who’ve experienced the same thing. Walker liked the camaraderie."
Barbara LeVan and son, Walker, 11, turned to Ryan’s Tree Grieving Program for healing after Walker lost his father, two grandparents and a cousin.
He went back after his other losses, especially this last time, when his confidence level plummeted. Complaining about his school work, he'd say, "I can’t do it. I don’t know if I’m smart enough.” Then he’d add, “I don’t want to grow up."
Talking helped Walker, as did the Ryan’s Tree crafts, especially making memory boxes. In one, there's a picture of Walker and his father, his father's wristwatch, his key ring and a blue ribbon from a soapbox derby car they worked on together. "He’s very sentimental," Mrs. LeVan says.
"The important part," she emphasizes, "is to be around other kids who have lost loved ones. To see how other kids grieve. To see that it's okay to be sad, to cry, to miss people and to be angry. For kids like Walker, that's the most valuable thing."
Learn how to help a grieving child cope with loss by reading our Grieving pages.
Learn more about the Highmark Caring Place.
This story was originally published in an April 5, 2009, advertising supplement for Highmark Healthy High 5.