Bullying Prevention Tips for Parents

How to listen to your child about bullying

If your child does open up and tell you he or she is being bullied, what your response should/should not be

Children frequently do not tell their parents that they are being bullied because they are embarrassed, ashamed, frightened of the children who are bullying them or afraid of being seen as a "tattler." If your child tells you about being bullied, it has taken a lot of courage to do so. Your child needs your help to stop the bullying.

• Check your emotions. A parent's protective instincts stir strong emotions. Although it is difficult, a parent is wise to step back and consider the next steps carefully.
• Never tell your child to ignore the bullying. What the child may "hear" is that you are going to ignore it. If the child were able to simply ignore it, he or she likely would not have told you about it. Often, trying to ignore bullying allows it to become more serious.
• Don't blame the child who is being bullied. Don't assume that your child did something to provoke the bullying. Don't say, "What did you do to aggravate the other child?" If you disagree with how your child handled the bullying situation, don't criticize him or her.
• Listen carefully to what your child tells you about the bullying. Ask him or her to describe who was involved and how and where each bullying episode happened. Learn as much as you can about the bullying tactics used, and when and where the bullying happened. Can your child name other children or adults who may have witnessed the bullying?
• Empathize with your child. Tell him/her that bullying is wrong, not their fault, and that you are glad he or she had the courage to tell you about it. Ask your child what he or she thinks can be done to help. Assure him or her that you will think about what needs to be done and you will let him or her know what you are going to do.
• Do not encourage physical retaliation (such as "Just hit them back") as a solution. Hitting another student is not likely to end the problem, and it could get your child suspended or expelled or escalate the situation.

This material was organized by Shiryl Pritts, Center for Health Promotion and Disease Prevention at the Windber Research Institute. It was resourced from Take a Stand, Lend a Hand Stop Bullying Now! U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services Health Resources and Services Administration campaign on bullying awareness. (http://stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov)